And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
