you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it hurts more in the daytime
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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