ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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