I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
