If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
