if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Mom said you looked used
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
