I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
