My sheets look like a crime scene.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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