why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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