Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You smell like stripper and shame
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
