Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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