Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
