I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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