u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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