Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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