All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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