are you still at the devil's house?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
