is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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