dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
