Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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