is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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