I saw his package. It spoke to me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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