Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
