also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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