All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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