Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
