i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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