can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i came on her dog
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
