i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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