I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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