So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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