My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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