are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
