I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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