I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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