The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
