i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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