So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
