I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
