dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize