Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
