Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
