Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
