he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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