i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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