Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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