did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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