I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
