I will die if light touches me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
