it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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