Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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