I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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