Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
