i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
one might say we're banned from that church
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
