I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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