I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
