guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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