That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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