We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
