My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
