To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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