shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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