Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
