Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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