My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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