oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just cropdusted the office
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
